If you were cheated on
The specific injury of infidelity is that it attacks the reliability of your own perception — if you didn't know, you were building your reality on something false, and that's disorienting in ways that go beyond the loss of the relationship itself.
No contact helps here because it removes the ongoing exposure to someone who actively misrepresented your reality. You don't owe them access to your recovery. The anger can be intense and useful in the early days — it tends to be a cleaner motivator than the pull to reconnect that comes later.
If you were the one who cheated
This is a harder position — the guilt often drives an urge to stay in contact to either atone or repair, neither of which actually helps if the relationship has ended. The person you hurt needs real space to figure out what they want, and your continued presence is more likely to complicate that than to help it.
No contact in this case is about giving them actual space, not just announcing that you're giving them space and then continuing to check in.
Your recovery starts with you, regardless of what happened.
No Contact 40 Days gives you a private place to track and process — without their access to it.
Get the app — free to tryCommon questions
Should I give them a chance to explain if they cheated?
If there's a genuine conversation worth having, have it — and then no contact. Staying in open-ended limbo hoping for an explanation that will make it make sense tends to extend the confusion rather than resolve it.
Is no contact appropriate if I'm the one who made a mistake?
Yes. Your own recovery is still a legitimate process even if you carry some of the responsibility for what happened. No contact doesn't require being the wronged party.
No Contact 40 Days is a personal-motivation and self-improvement tool. It is not therapy or medical or mental-health advice, and it is not a substitute for professional care. If you're struggling, please reach out to a qualified professional or a local support line.