Why waiting to stop loving them first is the wrong order
Many people wait to feel like they've stopped caring before allowing themselves to move forward, but that's often backwards — moving forward (rebuilding routines, reducing contact, focusing on your own life) is usually what allows the intensity of the feeling to fade, not the other way around.
Love isn't the deciding factor on its own
Compatibility, timing, and whether both people were willing to do the work matter as much as the feeling itself (see our guide on whether you should get back together). Love that exists alongside real, unresolved problems doesn't automatically mean the relationship should continue.
You don't have to stop loving them to move forward.
No Contact 40 Days doesn't ask you to stop feeling anything — just to keep the streak, and let the rest happen at its own pace.
Get the app on the App StoreCommon questions
Does still loving my ex mean I made the wrong choice?
Not necessarily — plenty of relationships end for good reasons even when love isn't the part that was missing.
How long does it take to stop loving someone?
There's no fixed timeline, and for some people the feeling fades gradually rather than ending at a clear point — the goal isn't necessarily zero feeling, it's no longer being controlled by it.
No Contact 40 Days is a personal-motivation and self-improvement tool. It is not therapy or medical or mental-health advice, and it is not a substitute for professional care. If you're struggling, please reach out to a qualified professional or a local support line.